Have you ever thought you are not good enough?

Have you ever had the feeling it’s easier too hide behind your other half than taking control?

Are you taking responsibility and charge of your life?

Many years ago when I first migrated to Australia I was very independent. After all I was very successful in my business life in Germany and had everything I worked for in my private life. So why shouldn’t I have been blooming with self esteem and confidence?

But somehow something changed and over the years to come I made myself more and more dependent on my husband. My self confidence diminished rapidly and more I let him take over, less self esteem I had. Eventually things changed again and once again I was put in a situation I had to take charge and was a figure of authority. I got to a level that I felt comfortable within myself. Still far away from where I once have been. I struggled still with immense separation anxiety and my self confidence seemed to disappear whenever my husband wasn’t around. To be clear here, my husband is the most supportive husband I could have ever asked for. All this happened on my own accord. Deep down all of a sudden I have decided I am not as clever as him or not as strong as him or my opinion is not as valued as his.

For my birthday my husband gave me a ticket for a scenic flight with snorkeling. If I say a ticket it was precisely one ticket. 3 or 4 years ago there would have been no way I would have gone on a day trip without him. No chance.

I waited till my uncle from Germany arrived and booked us on the flight. Now he doesn’t speak any English, so everything was left to me.

The whole day I was surrounded by my own healing colors…blue and green with a crystalline touch. I felt so connected and relaxed. On the way back from the islands in this small airplane that was much too noisy to talk to anybody I had time to reflect. And all of a sudden it hit me. I had an awesome time. I took charge. I initiated conversations with strangers and didn’t feel any pressure to prove myself or be someone I am not. I stood tall explaining what I am doing when I was asked about my work. I was happy and myself. I realized I had healed myself and stepped into my true power.

A few days later I had a conversation with a friend and it was about putting myself out there and feeling overwhelmed and this friend to me said:

“Martina you are u
Take away all the physical

Ur a soul healing other souls”
She doesn’t know but in her saying this it was like a big light bulb connecting all the dots and all of a sudden I realized: “No Depression, no Anxiety, no hiding behind others any more. I have grown enough to stand on my own and be who I am. Like it or not, that is not my problem but yours.  How liberating did this moment feel and how long it took for myself to understand that I can take charge and I already have taken charge. I have changed so very much in these last few years and shed my old self so very often to be who I am today. I am sure the changes will continue but from now on it will be forward and upward! No more self doubts but self love instead!
Thanks for reading and I truly hope you can take something away from this for your own journey! Please feel free to connect with me on my facebook page as Intuitive Healer and/or my general business page Violet Flame Wellness.  Blessings Xxx