As I slowly emerge from the dark night of the soul I can see my lessons clearly. I was faced with jealousy and greed, lack of faith and trust issues and most of all, the fear to be alone.
Once again I had to learn that I am enough just as I am. I do not need to be jealous or greedy as everything works out just the way it is supposed to be. Being just me and just the way I am is enough. And being mirrored the behaviours I had to take a step back and accept that other people’s jealousy and greed is their lesson to learn. I acknowledged what was happening and let it go. I surrendered to my feelings of deep hurt and send love instead of brewing over the happenings. I gave up on trying to figure out why and let it go. I decided “Let go, let GOD” is what needs to happen. And so it did.
I had to face lack of faith and again not only did I had to deal with experiencing the lack of faith but I was also mirrored the behaviour. To move forward I had to understand that my faith is my journey and my journey alone. If somebody lacks faith in me and my abilities and does not trust in me and what I am doing, it is not my lesson – it is theirs. Mine is to be truthful and faithful to myself. I know what I can do and where my limits are. I am not a lazy person regarding my work and my abilities. I am always looking for challenges and always working on myself to grow and expand my knowledge. As I truly believe I can only help others as much as I can help myself. If I do not grow spiritually I will feel stuck. I had become complacent thinking all is going great and I can stop my daily spiritual practise of mindfulness and meditation. I became a victim of my own pride. You always need to keep working on yourself. Only if you keep questioning and pushing yourself daily, you will move forward.
And my last lesson was a big one for me as I was always a loner. Never fitted in 100% and always had lots of different group of friends. Once again I felt I was pushed out of a group I felt I belonged to. I felt loosing being part of the group would send me to loneliness once again. I had formed an attachment to the feeling of belonging. Every day I had to stay in touch with beautiful friends to understand and to see clearly I am not alone and never have been! My guides, even so they moved into the background, were always there if I called them. And believe me when I tell you I called upon them often! I needed the reassurance that they are still there all the time and I am so grateful for them responding in an instant. I do believe they step in the background during a dark night of the soul to make space for you to face your lessons. You have to surrender and go inwards all by yourself to see your lessons clearly and to work through them. They cannot help you with it. But they are always close by and always with you – never leaving your side even if you don’t sense them.